San Jose's Top Ten

From the home office in Alviso, California (with apologies to David Letterman):

San Jose, CA: the self-appointed Capital of Silicon Valley.

TOP TEN REASONS TO LIVE IN SAN JOSE:

10.  The weather.  It's 80 degrees under blues skies today.  And every other day.  Think of all the time you'll save not having to pay attention to a weather report between March and October.

9.  The word "Garage Sale" is now obsolete (that's so 1.0) - you will now be able to purchase the same useless knick-knacks from your neighbor, and tell everyone you bought them at an "Estate Sale."

8.  Conveniently located world-class theatre, museums and fine dining - just 50 miles north in San Francisco.

7.  Speeding tickets no longer issued in the city of San Jose - budget problems have forced dismissal of entire police force.

6.  Don't worry about residents rioting or looting after local NHL team loses in the Stanley Cup Finals - the Sharks have never even APPEARED in the Stanley Cup Finals.

5.  Did we mention the weather? 

4.  Never know when you'll walk into a local watering hole and go home with the latest prototype of the new Apple iPhone™.

3.  Drive-up medical marijuana co-ops conveniently located on every corner.

2.  Worried about your inability to write well or properly speak English?  Never a problem in San Jose!

1.  "Dude, what an awesome day!  Let's score some weed and check out the Estate Sales."