The Statues of Dublin

Dublin native Oscar Wilde, author of The Importance of Being Ernest and The Picture of Dorian Gray, lounges comfortably in Merrion Square.  This is my personal favorite of the statues of Dublin.  Dubliners have nicknamed it "The Fag on the Crag," "The Quare in the Square," and "The Queer with the Leer."

Ireland is an island of only five million people, and in the past hundred years has produced four winners of the Nobel Prize for Literature - only two less than the United States.

These two women on Liffey Street are known as "The Hags with the Bags."

There's a tourist trap castle in the Southwest - Blarney Castle - that draws millions of tourists a year to pay a few quid to lie upside down and kiss an old rock that has been kissed by millions of other people - all in the name of acquiring the Irish "gift of gab."

Irish literary legend James Joyce still stands just off O'Connell Street in Dublin, but if you're meeting a Dubliner by "The Prick with the Stick," you're in the right place.

The Irish love to talk and many of them love to write.  Ireland produces acclaimed writers and playwrights at a pace that far outweighs its population.  Words and language are a vital part of Irish life.

Sweet Molly Malone, subject of a famous Irish folk song, now plies her trade selling "cockles and mussels" at the bottom of Grafton Street.  Dubliners have dubbed her "The Flirt in the Skirt," "The Trollop with the Scallop," "The Bitch with the Hitch," "The Dolly With the Trolley", and my personal favorite: "The Tart with the Cart."

Dublin, Ireland is a city of statues.  You can't turn a corner in the City Centre without encountering another statue or piece of sculpture commemorating something or someone.  And as quickly as the Irish government can plan and erect these statues, the Irish people can come up with witty and hilarious nicknames for them.  Many of these statues have multiple nicknames that are known by every Dubliner. 

The statue of Anna Livia (from Joyce's Finnegan's Wake) in its original location on O'Connell Street in Dublin's City Centre.  Dubliners nicknamed her "The Floozie in the Jacuzzi."

Dublin went a little overboard for the new Millennium, erecting new statues and landmarks around the city.  A digital clock counting off the time until the new Millennium was placed in the dark waters of the Liffey, the river that runs through the centre of Dublin.  Dubliners were ready and doled out several nicknames for the odd clock that lay in the murky Liffey.

Dubliners quickly dubbed the Millennial Clock "The Clock in the Dock" and "The Time in the Slime."

The largest piece for the Millennium celebration was a few years late to the party.  The "Spire of Dublin" is now located in the space vacated by "The Floozie in the Jacuzzi" in the middle of O'Connell Street - the main street that runs through the centre of Dublin.  Before the cement was dry, Dubliners had a series of nicknames ready including "The Binge Syringe," "The Stiletto in the Ghetto," "The Nail in the Pale," "The Pin in the Bin," "The Erection in the Intersection," and "The Rod to God."

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The World's largest sculpture is officially known as The Spire of Dublin, but many locals refer to it as "The Stiffy by the Liffey."

I have no clue which notable Irishman or what landmark event will next be commemorated by a statue or monument in some open space or square in Dublin.  But I'm quite confident that in a pub in Dublin, around a few pints of Guinness stout,  several Dubliners will brainstorm up multiple nicknames before it passes the planning commission.  And I'll drink to that.  Sláinte.